Josephine County Intergroup Newsletter
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Welcome to the January 2021 Josephine County A.A. Intergroup e-Newsletter brought to you by Josephine County A.A. Intergroup of Alcoholics Anonymous.
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Strength and Power at the Point of Despair and Defeat
The word “powerless” in Step One initially drove me to not accept the program at the point when I desperately needed help. My attitude in those first few days was that I thought that A.A. was going to tell me how to stop drinking, so how does being “powerless” over my drinking help me to overcome it or anything for that matter. I thought that the program was stupid. I almost walked away. I didn’t want to be “powerless.” Who cares to admit such weakness? On the contrary, I wanted power … power over my alcoholism. I needed the strength to control my drinking. I even found it offensive because if I’m “powerless,” who then was going to cure my alcoholism.
What I came to understand as I continued to come back was that Step One reveals a great paradox. Quite simply, Step One opens the door to a source of power that I could not find on my own. Step One unlocks the prison I was living in because it showed me that I had the key to the door in my hands the entire time.
So, the great paradox in Step One was that to get power over my alcoholism I had to admit my powerlessness over the alcohol. That sounded strange to me, but what I didn’t understand was that I had to change my focus. I was not equipped to fight my alcoholism by myself. I tried that hundreds of times without success. Powerlessness helped me to understand that I was not ever going to be good at controlling my drinking … ever. By verbally, mentally, and emotionally admitting, accepting, and just surrendering to the fact that I was powerless over alcohol and powerless over the ability to affect the changes I needed to make in my life, I was finally released from the shackles of my addiction and freed to walk into my future … as a sober person.
Now, the second part of Step One is also as important. I had to accept and admit that my alcoholism caused my life to get out of control and crazy. How did I know that? I lived it. My life was falling apart. Frankly, I was whipped. My wife wanted a divorce. I was fired from my job. I had committed crimes. My children turned away from me. I had no control, no manageability, just consequences … at times unbearable ones.
So, wanting my life to get better seemed too big of a plea. I just wanted the pain, the despair, the hopelessness to stop. To do this I had to be honest … honest with myself about my alcoholism and the unmanageability of my life. Nothing was going to happen until I admitted and accepted my powerlessness and surrendered control over it. I had to stop fighting the battle, and so I did, which then put me on course to a design for better living.
So, my friends, Happy New Year! This new year, I wish you beautiful moments, treasured memories, and all the blessings a heart can know … for you and your entire family.
Today is the first blank page of a 365-page book. Write a good one. I wish for you and your family an amazing year ahead. I pray that the sunshine of happiness always brilliantly light up your life, that the dove of peace rest over you and live in your home, and that the dense forest of love surrounds you all year round. I pray that you have the best year of your life. May God richly bless you and always take care of you.
Sincerely, your friend,
Newsletter Chair, Josephine County A.A. Newsletter Team
Josephine County Intergroup
432 NW 6th Street, Room 202, Grants Pass, OR 97526
Phone: (541) 474-0782
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